fuck me/neg

MAJOR DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!!

TW: §3x, R^p3, Ess-ay, v°m1+ mention, ur1n3 mention, pdf file topics, ¢h1łd @b§3, ł°§§ °f 1nn°¢3n¢3, 


────── ⋆⋅꒰ა☆໒꒱⋅⋆ ──────


why do all the ugly guys have to be rapists and molesters? cant i have a cute molester that isn’t a master manipulator and liar? why not just be cute and molest me like normal😭

anyways

the beach is my favorite place in the world, and my ride there isn’t taking me anymore bc they’re mad at me.
for fuck sake.
my little brother’s mom isn’t taking me anywhere bc the last trip we went on, i said the food was cold, didn’t taste very good, and it was humid asf. i legit couldn’t breathe in that fuckin water park

wtv, i hate water parks

she was mad and told him i was complaining, and that she’s not taking me anywhere anymore.
bffr… girl i didn’t say you cook like an asshole😭 it wasn’t your food

all i ever fucking wanted was to GO TO THE BEACH.
fuck me sideways/neg

anyways, i have a total rape fantasy... like idgaf, as long as you look cute and give me good head first? i’ll take that diq any time of the day

literally, like if a grown ass dude grabs me up and he’s a hottie, i’ve got no chance of escaping, i’d be like “okay look, i’ll cut you a deal... i want good head, you want good pussy. you eat me out, i’ll bounce on that thing as long as you want. deal? i won’t bleed. i’ll even shake your hand afterwards if you want idk”
but i can still get away with it being rape bc i was forced into it with no way of escaping and i didn’t want it, but might as well enjoy ittt

idk, i find it hot, maybe there’s something wrong with me.

i also think that FAKE!!! kids and teens being taken advantage of is hot. probably bc i lost my innocence at 4 bc my dad used my ipad for porn and never closed the tabs - and my parents used to have hate sex next to me and i had to pretend that i was sleeping.
so i discovered porn, sex, torture, bondage, masturbation, probably rape and molestation at the ripe old age of 4 :D ! I used to put my toys in my underwear and shimmy around while i played my little games... maybe i am really fucked up LMFAO

like, obviously if a kid or a teen irl was getting groomed or abt to get nabbed up by a whole ass adult, i’d be throwing hands, rocks, bricks and probably knives./srs
if i saw rape irl i’d kill the guy/srs
i hear molestation stories with people, no matter if it’s adults or kids, i get sick and i my eyes water, and i want the guy dead./srs

but in my video games? my AI bots? (that i’m trying to quit the addiction of slow turkey) my fanart? my fanfics? my webcomics?
rape, molestation, noncon, adults with teens, pregnant teens, creampies, breeding, aliens fucking teens, aliens fucking adults, cries, screams, all of it
it’s always with me in the game, and 9/10 it’s done to me though. i’m not the one abusing and raping and wtv, i am always the victim.
to other people? maybe other people are abusing other people, but i’m never the abuser. always the victim.
idk, maybe i’m fucked up.
i’m also asexual tho, so😭 i just have sex bc it makes ame happy - i dont even view sex as sexual, more of a comforting intimacy thing that makes ame feel good, and happy. so I feel good and happy :D

(i don’t take my weird fantasies out on her, either. closest i ever am to that is when she’s middle spaced, she asks me to eat her out, and i say yea. i always talk with ame before she regresses abt what she’s comfy with first.)
(closest i used to get though? she’d ask me to eat her out in little space.
she’d be fully 16, ask me if she can regress, ask me if i can eat her out while regressed, and then regresses. then i do all the happy mommy bullshit, ask her to lie back and yada yada, and i tell her if she wants me to stop, she MUST tell me to stop. i acted like it would be fun, but i hid how into it i was. i would always get so fucking wet, it’s awful. but that’s another story for another post.)

our relationship is STRICTLY safe worded, talked about, comfort-checked, and constant check-ins.
no rape. no noncon. no guilt. not molestation. so assault. no abuse. none of it.

most of the time, i don’t want anything for myself. she can’t, she’ll have a panic attack, but even so i don’t want any most of the time. i’m a weird asexual like that, idk.

if i do it to myself? YES GAWDDD
Imagining other things not doing with me/watching porn? YESSSS, OTHER FAKE PEOPLE CRACKING THAT ARENT ME YASSS
A fake person (sim, AI bot) fake cracking fake me/a persona of me? YESSSSASASAS
Someone ACTUALLY cracking me? GET AWAY FROM ME RIGHT NOW DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH ME.

anyways, i deffo think i’m fucked up.
i mean, my book is about violation, trauma, murder, cannibalism, always vomit, sometimes urine, insanity, blood drinking, molestation, child abuse, children getting sick, yada yada.
it’s actually not a smut lol, if it has anything to do with romance, then it’s an anti-romance.
it goes into extreme detail with the vomit and the mental issues and the hygiene, not to arouse, but to disgust, disturb and off-put.
hopefully it’s comforting to the disturbed.

anyways

i miss the beach. i love the ocean water, the ocean likes me. it’s a huge connection to Mother Aphrodite thing.
i think i’m gonna cry to Mother Aphrodite about it and it’ll happen. the gods let me get a lot of things, and for that i am so greatful./gen (i don’t like grateful. it’s stupid. i like greatful.)

i hope i don’t have the dentist tmr. i hate the dentist. it smells like childhood pain in there.

i WILL go to the beach. this WILL happen. i AM going to the beach this month. i WILL enjoy the water. i WILL BE going to the beach this year.

that’s all for today i think
i want an orgasm.
(by my own hand)

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